A box in a box in a box in a box...
by Nicki
Summary: It's odd... I can't really say what it's like. It's from Heero's POV and he's thinking of somebody... For those who know me it isn't hard to guess who...


Disclaimers: No, I do not own Gundam Wing or any or it's characters 'though I wanted to

Nicki: Here's some odd little piece of fanfiction. It's basically about Heero thinking of something/somebody… It's horrible I know but R&R anyway! Please!!!!!

Disclaimers: No, I do not own Gundam Wing or any or it's characters 'though I wanted to. I don't get any money from writing this fic so don't sue me. I'm not getting my pay until next Friday anyway…

From Heero's POV

A box in a box in a box in a box…

I sometimes wonder why he does it. He hides behind his masks. And yes… I said that in plural on purpose. There are many masks that he wears. After all he is a Gundam pilot. If one 'plan' fails it's safe to have another one. The others all know he's wearing mask. We all are. But they know wrong… 

And how exactly do I know that? Well I am his lover after all. It would be wrong however to say that it was love on the first sight because the truth was that it was lust on the first sight. Yes…. Even after he shot me… twice.But who could blame me? He's got a gorgeous body and those lovely indigo eyes, full mouth and that lovely braid. Yes, I have a hair fetish but so what...? It's not like you've ever got the chance to run your hands through that mass of silky soft strands. 

When he and I became partners I got the first good look at the first mask that he wears. The joker mask… He just didn't seem to stop talking and he smiled all the time. After I had made it quite clear what I wanted from him he started to flirt with me shamelessly. But he didn't do anything more than that. He gave the impression of being experienced and sure of himself. It never occurred to me that he was just afraid. 

Then there's of course the way he battles. After all it's hard not to hear his maniacal laughter through out communicating system. He is the self-proclaimed Shinigami, the bringer of death. Back then I didn't know why he called himself that and to tell you the truth I didn't care. I just wanted to fuck him and that's all. I am after all a teenager with hormones. I'm the perfect soldier with no emotions but that doesn't stop me from wanting him.

Then all that changed in one night. Or maybe I'd been changing all along but didn't just want to admit it to myself. Lusting after him was OK but loving him… If Dr. J had known he would have had me retrained in a sec. But anyway… The war was over and we were drunk. It was a shock to us soldiers that we weren't needed anymore so we went into a bar and got really drunk. Trowa and Quatre ended up making out and gave the bar quite a show. Wufei passed out sometime during the evening… Either from the alcohol of blood loss. I'm not sure and I don't particularly care. What I did care however was that it was the nigh that I got him into my bed. I have to tell you I was quite surprised to find out that despite how he had acted so experienced… he was a virgin. But that of course didn't stop me. I took him in some cheap hotel room in the glow of cheap neon lights. I won't go into the details but it was good. But that was the night that I got to see behind one of his masks. 

The next morning I woke up with a horrible hangover. At first I didn't remember anything from last night but when I saw him I did remember. He sat on the single chair that our room had and watched me. The first thought that hit me was that he was actually silent. That and he didn't smile… He just sat there in front of the window still completely naked and his hair still in a messy braid. I remembered distinctly asking him to let it down but he refused. He was a delicious sight but there was a strange expression in his eyes. I knew it all too well. It was the expression that I used most of the time. That wasn't like him at all. 

That was the time that I realized that I didn't exactly know anything about him. He wasn't the idiotic American I had thought him to be. Oh, I knew that he was a good pilot but I had always thought that he was too emotional. A shallow and simple but beautiful doll. I couldn't have been more wrong. 

He watched me long with those dull violet eyes analysing me. What he saw didn't seem to lift his spirits any. Somehow I didn't want him to think of me like that. As some person who'd gotten drunk and bedded him. It was then that I realized that I did want something more from him. Then that I realized how many masks he wore. Then that I somehow knew that I wanted to see what was left of him when all of those masks were stripped of. I wanted to see him, not the image he projected. 

I had been told to act on my emotions. I knew what I felt towards the braided pilot of Deathscythe but I couldn't just go to him expecting him to love me back. After my wakening I did however start to watch him more closely. To see when he let his masks slip. Now that was harder than you think. After all the war was over and we all went on our different ways. After two months of following him around I came no closer to finding who he really was. So the only thing I thought would help would be to go talk to him and ask. 

Quite ironically the place where I confronted him was a bar not unlike the one where I had hit on him. He didn't lift his gaze when I sat down on the same table that he. When he finally spoke it was to ask why I had been following him. I was quite surprised but didn't show it. I should have expected no less from a stealth master and former thief. I didn't answer his question but made one of my own. I asked him who was he. At that he looked up sharply looking at me steadily. He wanted to know why I wanted to know. He looked very surprised to see me smile. But he had asked a question which I gave an answer. I wanted to know what kind of a person I was in love with. That got a bitter smile but there was something else too in his eyes. Or so I told to myself. 

Then he kissed me. There wasn't anything gentle in it. Just raw passion and lust. He slid into my lap and ground his ass against my crotch. After the kiss ended he asked me if I still wanted to know who he actually was or if I just wanted to fuck him. I think my answer surprised him. What I said was that while I couldn't lie about the fact that I did want his body I wanted to see him smile even more than that. He froze and looked panicky. There was something desperate and lonely and pleading in his eyes. I leaned forward and whispered 'Aishiteru' into his ear. For a moment he didn't move but then really slowly he smiled. I was surprised to see that for a person who smiles so much, the smile seemed uncertain. But for the first time since I'd met him it was real. And it was for me alone. 

That night ended much like the last night we spent in a bar. He and I on the same bed again. This time not having sex however. Or at least I didn't think it as that. After all I did love him. Again I asked him to let his hair down. For a moment he thought but refused then. I guess he didn't completely trust me yet… 

When the morning came I found him still sleeping in my arms. There was a small smile on his lips and his arms were around me. I stroked his cheek gently and watched his violet eyes flutter open. He looked at me uncertainly and fearfully for a moment but then smiled for me. I asked if he regretted anything. He seemed to think for a moment before answering that he did regret something. I was prepared but it still hurt like hell. He however just kept smiling and kissed my lips gently. I looked at him confused and he actually chuckled. Then he said that he regretted the fact that he hadn't let me let his hair down. I guess he finally was beginning to trust me. 

Now we've been living together for about six months and I still don't know him completely. He still has his masks but he says that 'The walls are crumbling down.' And those are his exact words. He hasn't said that he loves me yet. But that doesn't bother me much. I know he does in his own way. It's just that he's not used to letting people in.

He is like that old saying/riddle. A box in a box in a box in a box… and so on. There's so many outer layers of him. It takes a special person to get into the last box but the one who gets there gets the ultimate price. He gets the rare real smile and silky honeybrown hair and depthless violet eyes. And I'm happy to say that I'm the one who holds the key to that last box. He is mine and mine alone.

A box in a box in a box in a box…

That's Duo Maxwell.

Nicki: So was it horrible? Don't answer that… For the people kind enough to have read this: Thanks! :3


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